by James
(Glendora, CA.)
At 26 I was diagnosed with Epileptic seizures due to some type of calcification on the right side of the brain.
I had Grand Mal siezures and lost consciousness twice in a period of one month.
I was hospitalized for 9 days in Neurology Department of USC Med Center.
The prognosis looked bleaked and sinister. I was told that many studies had to be done in order to determine the etiology.
I refused to be a guinea pig for the Neurologist intern and I was discharged from the hospital AMA (against medical advise) or not following medical advise.
I was terrorized with the prospect of having uncontrolled seizures for the rest of my life and the many limits the disease would place in my existence (not being able to drive, swim, be alone with myself, cycling etc. etc. etc.)
I spiraled down into an acute depression which I masked with the use of recreational alcoholic beverages and socialization with others who were doing the same.
I had no idea that alcohol was contraindicated with the use of anti-seizure medication.
All I wanted was my life to be normal, and I was going to do whatever everyone else around me were doing.
I was in shock mode for many months and years and refuse to accept my illness. The precribed meds appeard to be working (phenobarbital), but my anxiety level due to fear of recurrence of the seizures haunted me day and night.
I am not very religious so organized religion and surrendering whatever existence I had left was out of the question.
I continued my life without future, living a high risk existence without regard for health of any type.
I developed bad habits which included drinking, recreational use of other drugs, not eating rigth, poor sleep patterns, as well as being unfaithful to my siginicant other.
I lost my moral compass and the only aspiration was to be a hedonist and to die happy and comfortable without regard to how other people felt around me. I was self-medicating and life was OK.
One day I woke up, around age 35, and I felt very bad about the choices I was making with my life and how I was impacting my wife, kids and society in general.
For the first time in my life I acknowledged and requested the assistance of a supreme being.
Since then, I've met many people who had similar or worst conditions or no physical health problems, but with many emotional and psychological problems who have transcended their personal problems and illnesses, chosing to live a life of joy and happiness.
Through their examples I've learned to meditate, be of service to others, be in touch with the sacred part of my being, and accept and honor the disease that i have.
I made friends with it and I got to know it very well. I no longer fight it but respected and placed it in its proper perspective which is to make me a stronger and wiser human being on this earth.
I am now age 59, I no longer drink or use any other substances, I changed my bad habits for new ones which include Marathon running, cycling, world travel, teaching, and being of service to my community.
Meditation and studying the sacred scriptures of the world have beeen extremely important to my recovery of the seizures and my depression.
I've completed 39 Marathons, one Biathlaon, approximately 25 fifty to one hundreth mile cycling rides, and I have traveled numerous exotic locations in the world (India, Nepal Turkey, Egypt, Peru, Jordania, Israel, Rhodes, Greece, Canada, Europe, etc. etc. etc.)
Also, I have never again had another seizure. Of course I developed a disciplined way of life which includes: a good diet, exercise, good sleep, service to others, and the strong belief that GOD is doing for me what I can do for myself.
Thanks - Live long and prosper unless you have other plans.
Editors note: That is a great story about completely turning your life around. I want to thank you very much for sharing! I hope everyone reads your story and finds inspiration in it, just as I have!
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